"Don't Quit"

This is from a bookmark the kids gave to Bobby:

Don't Quit

by Jill Wolf

Don't quit when the tide is lowest,

For it's just about to turn.

Don't quit over doubts and questions,

For there's something you may learn.

*

Don't quit when the night is darkest,

For it's just a while 'til dawn;

Don't quit when you've run the farthest

For the race is almost won.

*

Don't quit when the hill is steepest,

For your goal is almost nigh;

Don't quit, for you're not a failure

Until you fail to try.

We love you Dad.

Thank you Mark for sending the following information...

Bobby has been off of work for a few weeks now. Yesterday, he went back for one day before his surgery. He was a bit cautious about returning--but he missed everyone and wanted to get back to be able to see all of his friends before going in for the surgery. He knew that the hardest part was going to be the end of the day, having to leave and not knowing when he'd be back. I spoke to him often throughout the day and his day was going well everytime we spoke. He told me it was definitely worth having gone back. He said that almost everyone stopped by the hangar which was great! Then, the following call made it come together even more...

For Immediate Release
Maryland State Police Aviation Command
3023 Strawberry Point Rd.
Baltimore, MD 21220


On December 29, 2007 @ 1244 hours, two Maryland State Police Helicopters responded to Sugarloaf Mountain, Frederick County for an injured child near the mountain summit. Frederick County Fire Rescue units on the scene requested aerial extraction and evacuation of the child. MSP Helicopter Trooper 3 inserted via hoist two members of the Frederick County Advanced Technical Rescue Team to assist with patient care and packaging. Once the patient was immobilized, Trooper 3 utilized their rescue hoist to lift the patient to the aircraft. The aircraft then landed at the command post and transferred the pediatric patient to MSP Helicopter Trooper 1 for additional treatment and transport to John Hopkins Hospital, Baltimore.

Although unfortunate for the child, I think Bobby was meant to work yesterday. The child will never know the impact he made on the life of one of the members of the team that saved his life. Bobby came home and was so happy about his day. We say THANK YOU to everyone!!! And Thanks Mark for sending the press release!

Anyone need some worms?

Today was the third day of playing phone police. Things shifted a bit as the previous two days had already set things into a positive position for today. The slides should have been read today although the doctor's office wasn't really expecting a report until Monday. Monday is New Year's Eve. I'm keeping my fingers crossed.


The next issue is that our primary care physician drops our insurance company as of 1-1-08. Bobby's surgery is on 1-2-08. Well, isn't that just great? All of the referrals that had been obtained (twice already), had to be gotten a third time from our new primary doctor...who has never seen Bobby before. I'm sure I'm as frustrated as the secretaries in the doctor's offices. They have been so helpful. Everyone has been so nice. It means so much to us.


Some of the information I had received from the pathologist was about the type of melanoma that Bobby has. He said it is Spindle Cell Melanoma. This is what the pathologist told me on the phone. I tried to write everything down (but this does not mean that the report is written). I don't believe that anyone has anything in writing, YET.

Bobby is holding his own. One allows himself to hold only enough information than he can handle. God made it that way. We are not ever given more than what He feels we can handle. That is what marriage is for. The spouse is able to pick up the rest of the slack, absorb the remainder of the spill, grasp the pieces that fall through the cracks. Its an amazing thing!

Thank you to those who have emailed. Bobby has enjoyed reading every single email. We do want everyone to know that we greatly respect you for allowing us to have some "quiet time" for lack of a better term. Some days, he gets inundated with calls. It is wonderful to hear from everyone...and to share the entire story with best friends and coworkers...and then to have to repeat it over and over and to tell the entire story again to a previous aquaintance or ex-friend of a friend that we haven't talked to in 15 years. They heard the news and wanted to call. Bobby is so sweet on the phone. It is pretty bad when they have to explain to him who they are! I'm not so nice. I'm the protective one.

Anyway, my point is that we know everyone cares and is thinking about him. We understand that if we don't hear from you that it is because you are giving us our personal space---we appreciate that very much. Hopefully, this blog will keep everyone updated on how he is doing and that will help. If there is anything I'm missing....or forgetting, 1. I apologize and 2. Please tell me so I can correct it. I'll try ASAP!

Love from us both to all of you, Donna & Bobby

LOL...

Fortunately,

Mr. Bobby is going to live a LONG, LONG TIME ;-) Since this is a family Blog, we won't elaborate.

Thank you, Grandy, for the previous submission.

Today's News

Today, we saw Dr. Yoon. He is an ENT doctor in Frederick. He will be working with Dr. Albertoli to do the parotidectomy. They did not give any options to the procedure. The surgery itself is not bad but the risks are to damage to the facial nerve. Because the cancer is so deep, the procedure will take 3-5 hours and will be done in Frederick. As of right now, Bobby is scheduled for surgery on Wednesday.

The biggest possible hold up will be the results of the pathology report which we have not gotten. (See Blog:Quest) If the results are not back, the surgery will be rescheduled. That is frustrating because it can be hard to schedule a surgery that takes that long. All of this delays treatment...which is important.

As things unfold, and the picture becomes more clear, reality is becoming difficult to digest. Bobby is trying to see things thoroughly, but denial is still masking the ability to put things into perspective. That's OK too. I think it has been harder since he has been off work with the other biopsies/stitches. It has been nice having him home, but if he had been at work, his mind would have been busy on other things. I'm trying to keep his mind on other things...but, I have limits also! (Insert smile from Bobby)

I'll update tomorrow-we should hear from Quest. OR, if not, Quest will hear from me. They knew who Bobby was when I called today. I'm trying to update the Blog ASAP so that everyone knows what is going on. Thanks for the emails--I have not been able to respond...hopefully, I will have extra time now that Christmas has passed. I wish all of this would not have been over the holidays. It has added to our stress, it has added to the time of the process, it has cost us sleep---lots of sleep.

Good night for now. I'll update again tomorrow--or as soon as we hear anything.
We hope all is well with each of you, Bobby & Donna

QUEST: the act of searching for something

Well, the title says it all. If anyone finds a specimen from QUEST LABS with Bobby's name on it...please return it to the owner. We spent our afternoon tracking down specimens and opening cans of worms.

From the Quest lab person... "Oh, well, I put your specimen in the box on Monday but I didn't realize that Fed Ex had already come. The specimen sat in the box and didn't go out until today." (2 days later since yesterday was Christmas)

We were not impressed. Why would she have even mentioned that to us? Well, I know why...but I don't need to lower my blog to those standards.

It has been a frustrating day. We spent alot of time on the phone, listening to excuses and stupidity. The delay in care is unfortunate as it impacts the outcome in the case of melanoma. We want to act quickly but not on incorrect information. What we found out today is that there are NO WRITTEN LAB REPORTS FROM THE PATHOLOGISTS ON THE RESULTS FROM ANY OF THE SPECIMENS. This is frustrating. We had to get on the phone and start stirring the crap. We're tired.

We hope everyone had a great Christmas. New Year's is coming...hopefully, it will bring new news for us.

Please pray for good news. Love from all of us,

Laughter is the best medicine

The following contribution is reprinted withoutish permission from a longtime friend and colleague of Bobby's. In their old days at MSP, they used to lay out in the sun together. Luckily, Bobby had no ill effects from all of the sun exposure!

I read the blog Internet page. What a wonderful way to spread such information and links to Amazon, eBay, and that company that sells pills to enhance that special part of a man's body. I did have some questions (but not about the pills--they have not worked yet). I'm no doctor, but I am not sure why you have to scan your pets. Well, I guess I am a doctor but not a real one. Maybe sort of like a real one (I do have one of those long off-white coats) but I have a very short attention span and can only deal with a patient for 20-30 minutes then at that point I just give up. Anyhow, what were we talking about? Yes, short attention span. Right, I have one. Okay. Yes, pet scans. I guess the dog and other pet groups got together and felt that things just were not PC enough for them with Cat scans and all. So now we have a newer technology that is "all inclusive". No demographic animal groups are left out of the picture now--no pun intended, well yes, pun intended. Now the dogs, birds, chinchillas (some other country's rodent exported to America and we buy them, God bless the USA), right, yes, pets, goldfish, pet rocks, pet names, and some Chia pets all get to be scanned leaving the cats to find their own niche again. Well I say keep it to hair balls and litter boxes--nope some ferrets use those poop pots, yes, hair balls it is. We should all see cats unique for hair balls and not scans. Let's form a committee and a steering committee and throw in an ad hock committee and ask Hallmark to declare a Federal holiday for cats and their hair balls. Was that an airplane? Yes, pet scans. Some farm animals are pets too......... I guess the FFA will weigh in on this issue. Okay, this email is addressed to Booby Harsh or so it says in the spot up top. Odd name really but kind of stimulating to say it over and over... Booby, booby, booby, booby........ I see I have made an error. It is spelled Bobby. I traveled to London last year and they don't talk their English right and say lots of things in un-American ways. Even they don't spell "Booby" like "Bobby". They do have some cops though that are booby's or bobby's but they never caught up with me and my American bought, Chinese made, French owned sneakers so I did not clarify that pronunciation. Someday they are really going to miss that crown I picked up. It sure weighs a lot. I tried to glue the crown to a plate to make a pretty punch bowel but it leaks everywhere. I should have just grabbed the scepter thing, it would make a good walking stick. Right then, booby has some stuff on his face. Yes, that is not good but I have seen lots of people several years after they too have had stuff on their face. So the booby doctors must know how to cut off the stuff on bobby's face because they cut off the stuff from the other booby's and they still seem to be happy with breathing and such. Some booby doctors actually make them smaller but I don't know why that is done. I should eat my oatmeal so I can take my special medicine. Airplane? Nope just the furnace, I think. If that doctor mentioned calls in sick, I have some sharp knives and a really good picture book of booby bobby body parts and I can cut stuff off of faces or take down wallpaper (we'll call that wallpaper thing "Mohs surgery" and charge more!). I know that anyone reading this will know to call me, email me, or send a pigeon if there is ANYTHING I can do to help the booby population. There it is again, and it was definitely an airplane or the black helicopters. Love and kisses...

Just a Note...

Bobby is doing well. He still has stitches in the bottom of his foot (and it hurts). He is moving around slowly. Donna spent the last 24 hours trying to get this Blog up and running...and all of the emails out to friends and family. Please forward the email to anyone that should get it. I tried and tried to send to everyone. I had to send about 20 emails with only 3-4 recipients in each. Whew!

Life's Rollercoaster

Today--this is where I want to bring us up to. I'll go back and fill in little details of 'the rest of the story' with Bobby's help. I'm sure it needs embellished.

This morning, Friday, December 21, Bobby went for a PET scan. It took about 3 hours. We came back home and the kids came home from school. We were in the mode for getting ourselves in gear for Christmas. Bobby and Julie got a tree up and decorated and that is the extent of our decorating.

Dr. Albertoli (Dr. Al) called around 3:00. The news was not good. The second opinion biopsy of his cheek came back as malignant melanoma. He said that he needed the results of the PET scan to know what to do next. He wanted Bobby to get in ASAP to see Dr. Yoon in Frederick.
Needless to say, time stopped. The outcome could be very bad at this point. Dr. Al told us he'd call as soon as he got the PET scan results. About 2 hours later, he called us back...the PET scan did not show anything.

This was the answer to all of our prayers. Thank you!

Although that news was GREAT, Bobby still has to have the rest of the cancer removed from the area on his cheek. Dr. Al said it was 2.4mm deep which is apparently fairly extensive. Dr. Al referred Bobby to an ENT doctor in Frederick. His best guess at the next step is to look at the parotid gland. That is the area that would most likely have to be removed/biopsied. Bobby isn't looking forward to that surgery. It is fairly extensive. We will know more about the specifics after we visit Dr. Yoon on Wednesday. We were told that the plan will be to do a parotidectomy.

"The parotid gland is the largest of the salivary glands. There are two parotid glands, one on each side of the face, just below and to the front of the ear. A duct through which saliva is secreted runs from each gland to the inside of the cheek. The main purpose of parotidectomy is to remove abnormal growths (neoplasms) that occur in the parotid gland. Parotid gland neoplasms may be benign (approximately 80%) or malignant. Tumors may spread from other areas of the body, entering the parotid gland by way of the lymphatic system."

SO...for now, Bobby has to have this surgery done to remove the rest of the cancer from his cheek and at that time they will determine whether it has spread to the parotid gland. The great news is that the cancer is limited to this area and is NOT from another site. Although it could be in the parotid gland (only determined by biopsy & microscopic examination), our concern for it being anywhere else has been eliminated.

We will see the ENT oncologist on Wednesday. Dr. Al said to expect surgery to occur at the end of Christmas week OR the following week (first week of 2008). I will be sure to update the blog with every piece of news.

As previously stated, and to be repeated:

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!

We love every one of you and are very lucky to have such wonderful support from our friends and family. We both know that we couldn't do it without all of you.

We'd both like to thank Dr. Flocare for his guidance and support. He is our guardian angel that shows up every time we get ourselves into a mess like this. Thank you Dr. Flocare!

**Synopsis**

Initially, I figured I would have a huge story to tell-and hours of writing. I dreaded the task. More than likely, it would have amounted to me typing nothing. I've gotten smarter-I'm going to be brief ...at least for now so I can get to the end of the story and bring us up to date. I'll do my best

• Over the summer, and into fall, Bobby had a "sore" on his cheek that would not heal. It got larger and deeper. It was time for an appointment with the doctor. A shave biopsy was sent and the report came back as basal cell carcinoma.
• The next visit was with the plastic surgeon. He removed the lesion and sent it for a biopsy. About a week later, we received a call that the biopsy showed melanoma. This was not what we wanted or expected to hear. The report said that there were concerns about the origin being ocular. The report also mentioned there were some signs of it being metastatic. This raised some questions due to the differences in the two biopsy results. Both biopsies were sent to Johns Hopkins for a second opinion.
• Two more suspicious moles were removed in the meantime, they were sent for biopsy and were confirmed to be "Atypical Nevi". It was explained that these were "Pre-Melanoma" and would have resulted in melanomas if they had not been removed. The good news was that the doctor did get all of each one. Unfortunately, the larger one on his cheek did not get completely removed. He still needs to have that taken care of.

The worst part of this now was that one of them was on the bottom of Bobby's foot. So, he has stitches on the bottom of his foot--and used crutches for 2 days. He is getting around better now. His other muscles are sore from using the crutches--and crawling up and down the stairs.

• The second opinion we were waiting for fell through. Hopkins would not read the slides to give us a second opinion. The original lab did confirm that the area on his cheek was melanoma and was fairly deep into the tissue.
• The waiting has been the hardest part. Not knowing.

All of this has happened in the last 4 weeks. One minute we get good news...followed by uncertainty, followed by not-so-good news. Bobby has been off of work since his first surgery (the removal of the area on his cheek). Just when it was time to go back to work, they wanted to do the biopsies on the other areas. Those kept him off of work due to it being on the sole of his foot. I have enjoyed having him at home and I think he is enjoying the attention.

We have heard from our friends and family. It is comforting to know that we have the support of so many. Thank you for your care and concerns.

First InfoByte Post

The first and most important thing we both want is to say THANK YOU. We thank all of you for your prayers, concerns, and generous offers of support. I've written down each offer of help -- and will pull them out of my tin if we need them. (As of today, I've used up 2-Thanks Tammi & Jeb) Also, for those of you who have offered to make mortgage payments, or Lindsey's tuition for the semester...we are greatful and hope that you are an inspiration for others to do the same.

Our plan is to update this site whenever we have information to share. Hopefully, we can keep more people updated in a timely manner. Also, it may help with the abundance of phone calls. I'll try to keep things in order as much as possible (for me). We've never written anything like this, we never thought we would have to.

It will be hard to start from the beginning of the story as we are hopefully approaching the end of this chapter. Feel free to add anything we've left out or correct our lack of knowledge in the area of cancer. Also, I'm sure no one will be surprised that most of the writing will be by Donna. It is hard to keep the HE/SHE/WE/US/OUR/ME/MINE's in the correct tense. The goal is to convey the information--please know that what I write is from both of us. With any luck...we might even get him to post some information himself!

Again, we thank you for the prayers--I'll give you a hint...THEY WORKED!!! And with that...I will attempt to start from the beginning...